


Never Been Kissed

by regardinglove



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Awkward Kissing, Castiel's First Kiss, F/F, First Kiss, M/M, Minor Jo Harvelle/Anna Milton, One Shot, They're the queer romance Cas is writing about!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 19:52:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7375222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regardinglove/pseuds/regardinglove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is twenty-six and has never been kissed. It’s never been a problem, but now his advisor is saying that his dissertation, a romance novel, is lacking a personal touch and won’t be liked by the board. With one day until it is due Cas is at wits end, but maybe his roommate, Dean, can give him a few pointers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Been Kissed

**Author's Note:**

> Partly based off of own experiences, partly based off of the fact that I just watched the Gilmore Girls series finale and lUKE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR LORELAI IF IT MAKES HER HAPPY AND I AM NOT FINE which basically led to turning that into Dean and Cas. Enjoy!

_“You love me?” Jo asked with wide, open eyes._

_Anna nodded back timidly and tried to walk away, but Jo caught her arm before she could make her escape._

_“How long? How long, Anna?” she demanded. “How long have you loved me?”_

_Anna may have been an angel, bright and powerful and able to smite Jo in an instant, but in that moment, the angel looked completely and utterly human. Her eyes were downcast and her lip was perched between her teeth. She looked terrified, which was beyond Jo. How could an angel of the Lord be terrified of a simple human like her?_

_“Ever since I pulled you from Hell,” she whispered. “When I touched your soul, it was the purest thing I’ve ever felt in my life. From that first caress of your being, I knew that I’d Fall for you, Jo. I just knew.”_

_“Anna…” Jo trailed off, because what the hell. How could an angel love her, a hunter? It didn’t make any sense, because angels hated hunters. The only reason Jo was topside was because she was a pawn in their games, and even though she thought Anna wasn’t like the others, she still had doubts at times. She thought that Anna was just putting up with her, that Jo’s love for the angel was unrequited._

_“I should go,” Anna said as she turned on her heel. Her large, obsidian wings flew out, ready for flight._

_Jo felt herself panic as Anna crouched down. She couldn’t let her angel leave, not after a confession like that one._

_“No you don’t,” Jo said, reaching forward and turning Anna around. With a fire within her, Jo leaned in and_

“Their lips...no. They touch one another with their mouths...no. They...uh...mack on one another for a long time...the end.” Cas pushed his laptop away and ran fingers through his hair, groaning. “This is impossible,” he muttered to himself, and brought his elbows up onto the table.

He’d rewritten the ending scene with Anna and Jo’s kiss a thousand times, but it never worked out. Professor Mills cited a lack of personal touch, and told him to base the kiss on his own experiences. _“Add a little raunchiness, will ya?”_ she said to him with an upturned grin. He nodded and laughed along at the time, but now he was truly panicking. He was never going to finish his dissertation before tomorrow’s board presentation, and it would all be because he’s the only twenty-six year old on the planet who has never been kissed.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried before. Back in college, Cas was almost kissed a few times, the closest being when he was playing a drunken game of spin the bottle with his floormates. It landed on a girl named Meg, a feisty business major who was known for her escapades in the bedroom, but when she leaned in and tried to kiss him, he couldn’t do it. When Cas imagined his first kiss, it always was with someone he really cared about, not some girl from Edlund Hall that he barely knew.

“Yeah, wait until you find the perfect person to kiss. That’ll do you a lot of good,” Cas angrily muttered to himself as he pulled his computer back towards him. The cursor blinked at him mockingly, and Cas carefully began typing.

_“With a fire within her, Jo leaned in and grabbed Anna’s face-”_

“No, no, no!” Cas cried out as he pounded on the keys. Even if he had no experience, why couldn’t he write this damn scene? Kissing was not rocket science, and he’s read enough romance novels in his life. Why couldn't he just write a few lines and get it over with?

“Cas?”

He cringed when Dean’s voice hit his ears. The last thing he needed was his roommate seeing him all up in arms over this, especially since he was the one Cas had been trying to get the courage to kiss for years now.

“In my bedroom!” Cas called out, and began fruitlessly typing nonsense as Dean’s footsteps ricocheted off the hardwood floors, stopping when he reached Cas’s door.

“You okay?” Dean asked, and Cas turned around to see his friend leaning against the doorframe, lips turned up into a smirk as he toed the ground with his boot.

Perhaps it’s heightened by Cas’s troubles, but Dean looked even more handsome than usual. His jeans were rolled up at the bottom, revealing his ankles, and his white t-shirt was dirtied from his work shift at the garage. Combined with his playful gaze and his hands in his pockets, Cas felt himself blanching.

“Earth to Cas? You there, buddy?” Dean asked.

Cas blinked owlishly a few times before going back to his laptop. “Yes, I’m sorry. I’m just trying to finish my dissertation.”

Dean walked over to his computer and peered over Cas’s shoulder. He could feel Dean’s breath on his neck, and it took everything in him to not turn his head and close the distance between them. It would be the perfect moment to get experience-

“Wow, this sucks,” Dean snorted, and alas, the moment was broken.

Cas glared up at Dean and pushed away from his desk. “You think it’s crappy? I’m presenting this to the board _tomorrow_ ,” Cas reminded him with emphasis. “And you decide to tell me now that it’s crappy?”

Dean held up his hands and backed away into the bed. He plopped down and replied, “Crappy isn’t the right word. It’s just...lacking. _Jo grabbed Anna’s face and kissed her until they broke apart_ tells me nothing,” he said, quoting the last thing Cas wrote down. “I want to read about what the kiss felt like for Jo, you know?”

Cas took a deep breath and took a seat next to Dean. He folded his hands in his lap and glanced out the window, then asked the question that had been on his mind all day. “What does it feel like to be kissed, Dean?”

Dean blinked a few times before answering. “Uh...what?” he responded awkwardly, hands coming up to rub anxiously over his face.

Cas curled his fingers into his palms and timidly looked over at Dean. “What does it feel like to be kissed?” he repeated. “I’ve never…” he trailed off.

Dean gaped at Cas, not comprehending at first, but when he did, his eyes flew open. “You’ve never kissed anyone?” he exclaimed.

“You don’t have to yell it,” Cas mumbled as he turned his gaze to the comforter. He began absentmindedly picking at a loose thread. “But yes, I’ve never been kissed.”

Dean whistled under his breath and laid a hand on Cas’s knee. It caused him to freeze, and he glanced up at Dean and found his friend’s lips curled up into a grin.

“Kissing is awkward,” he began, tracing an outline on Cas’s leg. “It’s wet and takes time to get it right, but when you do, it’s amazing.”

Cas nodded and curled his fingers into his palms. “What else?” he asked with downcast eyes, unable to look at Dean without turning an embarrassing shade of vermillion.

He felt Dean lean in closer to him, and almost jumped when Dean’s voice rang out right in his ear. “It’s like...all of your senses working at once. The feel of their lips on yours, the scent of her perfume or his cologne, it all hits you. And then you’ve got the taste of them in your mouth as things heat up, and to top it all off, looking at the person you kissed afterwards is like looking into the sun a bit. It’s overwhelming, but there’s nothing like it, Cas. I can assure you that.”

He felt his heart long for a kiss like that, and in his mind Cas indulged and let himself envision, just for a quiet, quick second, what it would be like to kiss Dean like he described. He felt a tingling on his mouth when he thought about what Dean’s lips would feel like, taste like. He could visualize the kiss for what it would be: a cautionary exploration into a world he’d never embarked before. Dean would be his guide, careful and kind as he navigated Cas into the ankle deep waters. They’d start out with butterfly kisses at first, lips touching for only a second before pulling away again. Then, once he’d gotten his bearings, Cas would push forward and capture Dean’s lips with his own, perching his friend’s lower lip between his teeth and he curled his fingers around his biceps. And if all went well, Dean would kiss back, equally as passionate and needy as Cas felt.

When he looked up and found Dean’s hand off of his leg and perched halfway to his face instead, Cas caught himself gaping openly at his friend. The air was tense between them, the energy palpable. It would be too easy, he thought, just to cross the tiny distance and push his lips against Dean’s, but he didn’t. The age old fingers of doubt rose up inside him once again, cutting off his desire and replacing it with unease.

With a sigh, Cas broke the impromptu staring contest between them and pushed up from the bed. “That sounds great, but how do I put that into my writing?”

Dean shrugged nonchalantly and gestured to the open laptop. “Take what I just told you and put it on paper. Can’t be hard, right? I basically gave you a road map right there.”

“Right, you did,” Cas said with a nervous laugh. He wandered over to his computer and leaned over the table. “I will just...uh..go off of that. Thank you, Dean.”

Dean got up from the edge of the bed and grinned back at him. “No problem, Cas. If you need any more pointers, let me know,” he said, and was Cas imagining it, or did Dean just wink at him?

He felt redness rise to his cheeks as Dean turned around and walked out of the room, hips rocking and swaying slightly as he moved. When he was out of sight, Cas ran a palm over his face. What was he going to do now? All he got from that advice was inappropriate images of himself and Dean together (plus a hard-on that was getting, very, very tiresome to ignore.) He was screwed, and not in the way he wanted either. Why couldn’t he just kiss Dean?

 _You know why,_ Cas thought. When all the cards were on the table, Cas cared about his friendship with Dean too much. And even though Cas thought that Dean cared for him as more than just a friend too, he was terrified of risking it. What if he was reading the signs wrong? What if Dean edited all his friend’s dissertations late into the night, even when he had to get up early the next day to open the garage? What if Dean cooked for all of his friends when they were not feeling well, and then refused to leave their side until they were one hundred percent sure they could take care of themselves? What if Dean personally drove all over the county trying to find the perfect bee farm to take all his friends to? What if Cas was being ridiculous and Dean didn’t care for him at all?

Frustrated, Cas turned back to his computer and began typing, his annoyance at himself coming out through his writing.

_“Jo grabbed Anna’s face and leaned in, lips hovering over her angel’s. If she moved even an inch, their entire friendship would be destroyed. For a second, Jo hesitated. Was she willing to risk it all? Anna told her that she loved her, but did she really know what she was getting into? Jo was broken, this she knew. She was human and jealous and unkind at times. She was petty and would never let Anna be right, ever. She would probably be a crappy lover because really, what can please an angel who’s been around for thousands of years?”_

“But Anna loves her!” Cas muttered under his breath, hitting the backspace button a few times to erase the last paragraph. “She’s given up everything for her, and was by her through everything, and tried to get her that gift one time just because she was sad and- oh my goodness, is Dean in love with me?”

The realization hit Cas like a pile of bricks, and he plopped down into his chair and gripped the edge of the table for support. In an instant, it became incredibly clear. Had he been basing Anna on Dean all along? No, it couldn’t be, could it?

“Cas?” Dean’s voice rang out from his door, and when Cas turned around, Dean was looking at him with wide, cautious eyes.

Cas didn’t answer. Instead, he got up and did what he always wanted to do.

“Cas, what are you-” Dean said, but was interrupted by Cas walking towards him and taking his face in his hands. Then, with a confidence he didn’t know that he had, Cas pushed his lips against Dean’s.

It wasn’t like Cas imagined at all. It was awkward, and fumbly, and it took a few seconds for Cas to realize that Dean wasn’t kissing back. Mortified, he toppled away and stared at his friend, who brought his fingers up to his lips to brush against them.

“Oh Dean, I am sor-” he began, but this time Dean cut him off by kissing him like he described. His lips were confident on Cas’s, guiding him through the process. Cas leaned into it and brought a hand up to brush through Dean’s hair, and the moan Dean elicited almost had Cas groaning, too. This was better than what Dean described. It was like fireworks were going off all around him, cheesy as that analogy was. And when they pulled apart, Cas looked at Dean and felt like he was looking at a galaxy, bright and bountiful.

“Wow,” was Cas’s brilliant response, and Dean just laughed as he pushed another kiss to Cas’s lips, this one chaste and brief.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for years, Cas,” he said as he grinned widely.

“Then why didn’t you?” Cas asked.

Dean was the one blushing then as he ran a thumb over his lip. “Never thought you were into me, that’s all.”

Cas gaped back at Dean, because really?

"Dean, I've been into you since the day you moved in and complimented my bee sheets," he said timidly. 

Dean whistled under his breath. "Wow, really?"

Cas nodded. "Anyone who can appreciate a good bed spread is a keeper in my book," he said with a laugh, and Dean echoed it back to him. They went quiet for a second, and then something impossibly embarrassing dawned on Cas. “Please don’t tell me that we’re a cheesy rom-com,” he groaned into his hands. “That is so cliche.”

“You’re a romance writer and you’re complaining about us being a cliche?” Dean replied with a truncated giggle, coming forward to bring a hand up to Cas’s face. “You’re adorable.”

Cas grinned widely and Dean leaned forward to capture his lips once again. This kiss wasn’t like the first two. It was filled with a low burning passion, and soon enough Cas’s unresolved sexual tension from earlier was back, ready to be acted on. He felt his fingers curling into Dean like he imagined, but then he caught eye of his dissertation and groaned. He really needed to get it done if he wished to graduate with his degree anytime soon. It took everything in him to push Dean away and turn to his computer, and Dean’s little whine of disapproval didn’t help anything.

“I need to write,” Cas explained, fingers flying over the keys as he transcribed their kiss into his novel. “More kissing can wait until I finish.”

"Or your dissertation can wait," Dean said suggestively, but Cas just knocked him away when Dean tried to lean into his back. "C'mon, Cas! We just admitted our feelings for each other and you want to do homework instead?"

Cas turned and glared at Dean, but there was no malice in it. "I need to get this done. You don't want a boyfriend without his Master's degree, do you?" he said with a playful grin.

Dean pouted, but backed off. “Okay, but you owe me one!” he said as he began walking away. “How about we go out to dinner tonight? You know, talk things over, celebrate.”

“That would be amazing,” Cas said as he dismissed Dean away with one hand. “Now let me write so we can actually go on our first date, okay?”

“Okay, but I’m cashing in later! I want my boyfriend's complete attention!” Dean called out, and then left without another word.

Cas just grinned at his computer afterwards. Boyfriend. _Boyfriend._ The title felt amazing, and it galvanized him to write like he'd never written before. When he was finished, he printed it out and handed it over to Dean, who read it with fervor and undivided attention. 

"Wow Cas, this is fantastic," he mumbled when he was done, fingers flipping through the pages one last time. "And that kiss at the end? Way better than before." 

"Thank you," Cas said, then curled up next to Dean. "All it took was a little personal experience." 


End file.
